Striving to Become

In a recent Relief Society lesson on missionary work, several sisters shared how inadequate they felt to share the gospel when their lives were so crazy. How could someone want to be like me when I have to work so hard at it myself and am not doing anything perfectly? I felt the Spirit teach me a lesson as I pondered these questions and thoughts. I've tried to write down what I am learning since it seems to be replaying in my mind over and over again.

 When Christ said "be thou an example of the believers" did He mean that if you are not perfect you should bury your talent in the ground? Hide your light under a bushel because it's 60 watts instead of 180? Look down on ourselves because we have no incredible life story to amaze others into listening to our testimony?

 The perfection we seek, yet will always lack in this life, should not be what we expect of ourselves before we can be disciples of Christ, be an example to others, and join in missionary work. So if others see your children throwing tantrums, your lawn looks slightly deranged because your teen is developing yard skills, and you seem to always find spit up on your shirt...what do you do? Focus on the "striving to become."

 When I go grocery shopping with three active kids ages 5, 3, and 2 while I am 6 months pregnant things can get a little crazy. It's easy to feel self-conscious as my constant stream of words is in my much-prayed-for patient voice asking the kids to stay in the cart, sit down, don't touch, please put that back, etc. I often stop and crouch down to their level and have a little chat about obedience. I get lots of looks and just about every time a "you've got your hands full" from another shopper. And yes, I'm sure there are those who judge me as insane for having so many little ones. Just like anyone could judge negatively your lawn, house, state of dress, or any other of differences in the way members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints eat, dress, and speak. We are certainly different from the world- and not in way some would "envy." For example, I probably won't have someone approach me and say "I wish I could be chasing three screaming kids in different directions, looks like fun!" Or "Wow those weeds are so green, wish I had those!" However, there is a wonderful blessing we have in the difference of our "striving to become."

 After one of my somewhat crazy shopping trips, I was loading the kids and groceries in the van, when a lady came up and offered to return my cart with hers. I thanked her for her kindness and she started to leave. Then she turned back and said "You know, I just have to let you know you're doing a wonderful job with your children." Her words didn't focus on the barely contained behavior of my toddlers, instead she had watched me and how patiently I had treated the children and handled the situation. My "striving to become" more patient and speak more kindly had made an impact on her.

 So if you're child isn't the star student at school, if your calling requires major sacrifices, if you have to change your outfit three times a day courtesy of an infant...don't feel your life cannot be a window to Christ. Your spirit, attitude, the way you carry yourself and handle the many responsibilities that come from the hard work of bringing yourself and your family to Christ- all of this "striving to become" is what can touch the lives of those ready to feel the Spirit and welcome the hope and joy we have in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

 We know that despite our many trials, even when being a faithful member of the Church seems so difficult, we have a hope in Christ. Through His merits, mercy, and grace our lives can be shaped by the Master into a masterpiece far beyond what we can imagine for ourselves. He gives us our weaknesses that we might turn to Him to find our greatest strength. He heals our sins when we humble ourselves and come to Him. And despite our weaknesses and feelings of inadequacy, we can bring others closer to Him as they see our striving to become as He is.